New York State Funeral Directors Association

Losing someone close and dear is something all of us experience, usually more than once during our lifetime. Although it is a natural part of life, the shock and pain can still be very intense, and it takes time to heal.

Grieving process helps us on the way to recovery and it is important to embrace it, let it run its natural course, and continue with our life once grieving is over.

Understanding what grieving implies is the first step to overcoming it.

Let Yourself Grieve

Although there are some common stages of grieving that have been roughly defined, these are by no mean clean-cut stages.

You should not stick to any general patterns and put an expiry date on your sorrow. With the best of intentions, people might be giving you instructions on how you are supposed to deal with the loss, while it is not their loss, but yours,
and you are allowed to grieve in your own unique way.

Some people cling on to the deceased’s belongings, while others are getting rid of any reminders. You might want to spend time alone, while someone else might want to be surrounded with friends and family all the time.

Avoid comparing your experience with somebody else’s and measuring your grief. There is no overreacting or underreacting when it comes to grieving.

Ponder on Life and Death

Denying death is a very common reaction.

Confront death in order to accept it. No matter how hard it might be, engage in the organization of funeral or cremation services.

Do not suppress thoughts about the person who died, or how they died. Talk with people around you about what happened and what is the meaning of it.

Remembering that whatever is born must die will help you deal with mortality of physical things and you will find inner sources of security and peace.

Help Others

People feel discomfort when they need to console a grieving person.

They do not know what to say or do. But when you are going through the same experience, this connection can be beneficial to all of you.

Sharing your feelings with the other members of your family, or joining a support group can help everyone cope. Reach out and help others help you.

Remember and Celebrate the Life of the Deceased

Celebrate that special relationship that you had with your loved one who has passed away. Start a charity fund and name it after them, or take part in a charity event.

Make a donation for a cause they cared for. Grant scholarships to promising young students who are pursuing the same profession as the person who died. Make a sort of a memorial by planting a tree, or a garden.

Write a story about their achievements and read it at a family gathering. If it was your parent, remember all the things they taught you.

Write a letter to that person and tell them what they meant to you and how much you miss them. It is up to you to decide what that person would like the most for you to do in their honour.

If you feel overwhelmed by your sorrow, seek help from a psychologist to get back on track. But remember that it takes time.


LanaHawkinsLana Hawkins

Lana is a student of architecture from Sydney, Australia. She enjoys cooking, knitting and writing. Besides home décor articles, Lana loves writing about emotions and is very interested in psychology.