New York State Funeral Directors Association

There isn’t a whole lot people can say to friends or family in the days following the loss of a loved one.

Being there for them to talk, taking some of the burden of daily tasks off their shoulders or bringing over some food are all great suggestions that have been passed along.

These things don’t take away the pain, but they strengthen the much-needed feeling that people aren’t alone and emphasize that there are others who care and are ready to help.

As time goes on, many who served as important elements of support start to fade back into their own lives. But that doesn’t mean sources of help are exhausted.

Thousands of people have discovered help and guidance right from their computer or smart device – by going to the popular video channel YouTube.

If you’re searching around for more input on grief and how to face it, there are some good videos worth taking a look at. They are online, for free. Here are a few of them:

Tips to Get Through the Grieving Process by Dr. Phil

With 1.5-plus billion video views and 1.7 million subscribers on his YouTube channel, psychologist Phil McGraw, Ph.D., has spread human understanding throughout the country and beyond.

More commonly known as “Dr. Phil,” this mental health professional presents compassionate and no-nonsense views for people facing real-life issues.

In one of his videos from July of 2013, Dr. Phil offers some important words to a woman facing the devastating loss of her husband. He encourages her not to isolate herself, to be sure to let others in to help and to give her grief a voice.

This video is less than three minutes long, and it’s been viewed more than 72,000 times. Here's a link:

Guided Meditation on Grief for Loss of a Loved One by Sarah Dresser

Run by clinical hypnotherapist Sarah Dresser, the Unlock Your Life YouTube channel has earned more than 65,000 subscribers.

Her videos reach people with meditative music and soothing words.

Her video “Guided Meditation on Grief for Loss of a Loved One” has been viewed more than 19,000 times – and the comment section below is filled with thank yous and notes from people describing the painful losses they suffer from.View of Sarah Dresser Video on YouTube

Dresser’s soothing music and voice walk the viewer through how to relax and rest while still opening your heart to the loved one you’re grieving.

It’s about rebalancing yourself, slowing down, and it offers encouragement. The hardest days will pass, and calmer days will come. Here's a link:

How To Deal With Grief – A Radically Different Way by Noah Elkrief

People aren’t often looking to read the scientific community’s definition of the various stages of grief that people go through after they lose a loved one.

People would like to stop hurting so much.

Bestselling author Noah Elkrief has earned more than 170,000 subscribers on his YouTube Channel discussing a variety of topics including how to deal with loneliness and how to get over a breakup.

His video can be a valuable resource for folks looking for a new perspective.

In this video, viewed more than 76,000 times, Elkrief discusses how people believe that being sad reflects how much they care for the loved one they've lost.

To many, sadness means you care and the duration of grief demonstrates the level of love you have for that lost loved one.

But people loved those whom they loved when they were alive – and it didn’t involve sadness. Yet people believe that sadness means they care, Elkrief explains.

Sadness isn’t created by how much we love and care for someone. It doesn’t mean we do not love someone when we aren’t sad.

If sadness were created by the love we have for someone, we’d be overwhelmed with sadness for all the time that follows the loss of that loved one.

But when we catch a funny clip on TV and laugh, get intrigued watching a program or daydream hearing a favorite song we haven’t heard in a long time, we are distracted long enough to stop feeling sad.

Then there’s guilt we feel when we laugh – we think it verifies the love we have for our lost loved one. 

This video is about 25 minutes long. Here's the link:

There are numerous videos available on YouTube that can be helpful, whether you’re trying to ease the pain or get an understanding of what you’re going through.

And the videos themselves are only one facet of the help you can find there.

Beneath many, you’ll see comments from individuals offering gratitude for the help they received, and often sharing a bit of the pain they’re suffering from.

EdsPhotoEdward Munger Jr.
Communications & Social Media Specialist
NYS Funeral Directors Association